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List of humorous units of measurement

January 01, 1970

Many people have made use of, or invented, units of measurement intended primarily for their humor value. This is a list of such units invented by sources that are notable for reasons other than having made the unit itself, and that are widely known in the Anglophone world for their humor value.

Systems

FFF units

Main article: FFF system
Unit Dimension Definition SI Value
furlong length 660 ft 201.168 m
firkin[a] mass 90 lb 40.8233 kg
fortnight time 14 days 1,209,600 s

Most countries use the International System of Units (SI). In contrast, the furlong/firkin/fortnight system of units of measurement draws attention by being extremely old fashioned and off-beat at the same time.[1]

One furlong per fortnight is very nearly 1 centimetre per minute (to within 1 part in 400). Besides having the meaning of "any obscure unit", furlongs per fortnight have also served frequently in the classroom as an example on how to reduce a unit's fraction. The speed of light may be expressed as being roughly 1.8 terafurlongs per fortnight (or megafurlongs per microfortnight).[2][3]

Great Underground Empire (Zork)

In the Zork series of games, the Great Underground Empire has its own system of measurements, the most frequently referenced of which is the bloit. Defined as the distance the king's favorite pet can run in one hour (spoofing a popular legend about the history of the foot), the length of the bloit varies dramatically, but the one canonical conversion to real-world units puts it at approximately two-thirds of a mile (1 km).[b] Liquid volume is measured in gloops, and temperature in degrees Q (57 °Q is said to be the freezing point of water).[4]

Potrzebie

In issue 33, Mad published a partial table of the "Potrzebie System of Weights and Measures" developed by 19-year-old Donald E. Knuth, later a famed computer scientist. According to Knuth, the basis of this new revolutionary system is the potrzebie, which equals the thickness of Mad issue 26, or 2.2633484517438173216473 mm.[5]

Volume was measured in ngogn (equal to 1000 cubic potrzebies), mass in blintz (equal to the mass of 1 ngogn of halva, which is "a form of pie [with] a specific gravity of 3.1416 and a specific heat of .31416"), and time in seven named units (decimal powers of the average earth rotation, equal to 1 "clarke"). The system also features such units as whatmeworry, cowznofski, vreeble, hoo, and hah.

According to the "Date" system in Knuth's article, which substitutes a 10-clarke "mingo" for a month and a 100-clarke "cowznofski", for a year, the date of October 29, 2007 is rendered as "Cal 7, 201 C. M." (for Cowznofsko Madi, or "in the Cowznofski of our MAD"). The dates are calculated from October 1, 1952, the date MAD was first published. Dates before this point are referred to (perhaps tongue-in-cheek) as "B.M." ("Before MAD.") The ten "Mingoes" are: Tales (Tal.) Calculated (Cal.) To (To) Drive (Dri.) You (You) Humor (Hum.) In (In) A (A) Jugular (Jug.) Vein (Vei.)

Quantity

Sagan

See also: Indefinite and fictitious numbers § Sagan's number

As a humorous tribute to Carl Sagan and his association with the catchphrase "billions and billions", a sagan has been defined as a large quantity – technically at least four billion (two billion plus two billion) – of anything.[6][7]

Length

Altuve

In the sport of baseball, the Altuve is an informal measurement of distance equal to 5 feet 5 inches, or 1.65 m: the height of Houston Astros player José Altuve, one of the shortest players in Major League Baseball.[8]

Attoparsec

Parsecs are used in astronomy to measure interstellar distances. A parsec is approximately 3.26 light-years or about 3.086×1016 m (1.917×1013 mi). Combining it with the "atto-" prefix (×10−18) yields attoparsec (apc), a conveniently human-scaled unit of about 3.086 centimetres (1.215 in) that is used only humorously.[9]

Beard-second

The beard-second is a unit of length inspired by the light-year, but applicable to extremely short distances such as those in integrated circuits. It is the length an average beard grows in one second. Kemp Bennett Kolb defines the distance as exactly 100 angstroms (10 nanometres),[10] as does Nordling and Österman's Physics Handbook.[11] Google Calculator uses 5 nm.[12]

Bee's dick

An Australian term for a very small distance, as in "he missed crashing into the truck by a bee’s dick". It is derived from the presumed small size of a male bee's penis.[13]

Jimmy Griffin Snow Index

Television station WKBW-TV in Buffalo, New York developed the "Jimmy Griffin Snow Index" to measure the potential severity of a snowstorm. It is named after former Buffalo mayor James D. Griffin, who in 1985 earned the nickname "Six Pack Jimmy" after suggesting residents grab a six-pack of Genesee beer to wait out an upcoming snowstorm. The index is measured in cans of beer, with roughly one can for every 4 inches (10 cm) of expected snowfall (the index is not perfectly linear at its lower levels as originally introduced); thus, Griffin's six-pack would be recommended for a storm bringing two feet of snow.[14]

Mickey

One mickey is the smallest resolvable unit of distance by a given computer mouse pointing device. It is named after Walt Disney's Mickey Mouse cartoon character.[15] Mouse motion is reported in horizontal and vertical mickeys. Device sensitivity is usually specified in mickeys per inch. Typical resolution is 500 mickeys per inch (16 mickeys per mm), but resolutions up to 16,000 mickeys per inch (600 mickeys per mm) are available.

Muggeseggele

A Muggeseggele is a humorous Alemannic German idiom used in Swabia to designate a nonspecific very small length or amount of something; it refers to a housefly's scrotum.[16][17]

Sheppey

A measure of distance equal to about 7⁄8 of a mile (1.4 km), defined as the closest distance at which sheep remain picturesque. The Sheppey is the creation of Douglas Adams and John Lloyd, included in The Meaning of Liff, their dictionary of putative meanings for words that are actually just place names.[18] It is named after the Isle of Sheppey in the UK.

Smoot

Main article: Smoot

The Smoot is a unit of length, defined as the height in 1958 of Oliver R. Smoot, who later became the chairman of the American National Standards Institute (ANSI), and then the president of the International Organization for Standardization (ISO). The unit is used to measure the length of the Harvard Bridge. Canonically, and originally, in 1958 when Smoot was a Lambda Chi Alpha pledge at MIT (class of 1962), the bridge was measured to be 364.4 Smoots, plus or minus one ear, using Mr. Smoot himself as a ruler.[19] At the time, Smoot was 5 feet, 7 inches, or 170 cm, tall.[20] Google Earth and Google Calculator include the smoot as a unit of measurement.

The Cambridge (Massachusetts) police department adopted the convention of using Smoots to measure the locations of accidents and incidents on the bridge. When the original markings were removed or covered over during bridge maintenance, the police had to request that someone reapply the Smoot scale markings.[21] During a major bridge rebuild, the concrete sidewalk was permanently divided into segments one Smoot in length, as opposed to the regular division of six feet.[22]

Wiffle

A wiffle, also referred to as a WAM for Wiffle (ball) assisted measurement, is equal to a sphere 89 millimetres (3.5 inches) in diameter – the size of a Wiffle ball, a perforated, light-weight plastic ball frequently used by marine biologists as a size reference in photos to measure corals and other objects.[23][24] The spherical shape makes it omnidirectional and perfect for taking a speedy measurement, and the open design also allows it to avoid being crushed by water pressure. Wiffle balls are a much cheaper alternative to using two reference lasers, which often pass straight through gaps in thin corals.

A scientist on the research vessel EV Nautilus is credited with pioneering the technique.[25][failed verification]

Area

Barn, outhouse, shed

A barn is a serious metric unit of area used by nuclear physicists to quantify the scattering or absorption cross-section of very small particles, such as atomic nuclei.[26] One barn is equal to 1.0×10−28 m2. The name derives from the folk expressions "As big as a barn," and "Couldn't hit the broad side of a barn", used by particle accelerator physicists to refer to the probability of achieving a collision between particles. For nuclear purposes, 1.0×10−28 m2 is actually rather large.[27] The outhouse (1.0×10−6 barns) and shed (1.0×10−24 barns) are derived by analogy.[28][29][30]

Nanoacre

The nanoacre is a unit of real estate on a very-large-scale integration (VLSI) chip equal to 0.00627264 sq in (4.0468564224 mm2) or the area of a square of side length 0.0792 in (2.01168 mm). VLSI nanoacres have similar total costs to acres in Silicon Valley.[31]

Volume

Barn-megaparsec

This unit is similar in concept to the attoparsec, combining very large and small scales. When a barn (a very small unit of area used for measuring the cross sectional area of atomic nuclei) is multiplied by a megaparsec (a very large unit of length used for measuring the distances between galaxies), the result is a human-scaled unit of volume approximately equal to 2⁄3 of a teaspoon (about 3 mL).[32][33]

Hubble-barn

Similar to the barn-megaparsec, the Hubble-barn uses the barn with the Hubble length, which is the radius of the visible universe as derived by using the Hubble constant and the speed of light. This amounts to around 13.1 litres (3.46 US gallons, 2.88 Imperial gallons).

Power

Donkey power

This facetious engineering unit is defined as 250 watts – about a third of a horsepower.[34]

Pirate-ninja

A pirate-ninja is defined as one kilowatt-hour (3.6 MJ) per Martian day, or sol. It is equivalent to approximately 40.55 watts. It is used in the 2011 novel The Martian by Andy Weir. Weir said in a 2015 interview that the Curiosity rover team at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory uses the similar unit 'watt-hours per sol' in their meetings, and the team told Weir that they should just call them milli-pirate-ninjas.[35]

Time

Friedman

Main article: Friedman (unit)

The Friedman is approximately six months, specifically six months in the future, and named after columnist Thomas Friedman who repeatedly used the span in reference to when a determination of Iraq's future could be surmised.[36][37][38][39][40][41][42]

Jiffy

Main article: Jiffy (time)

A jiffy is a unit of time used in computer operating systems, being the interval of time between system timer interrupts. This interval varies from system to system, but is typically between 1 and 10 milliseconds.

Microcentury

According to Gian-Carlo Rota,[43] the mathematician John von Neumann used the term microcentury to denote the maximum length of a lecture. One microcentury is 52 minutes and 35.7 seconds‍—  one millionth of a century.[44]

Nanocentury

A unit sometimes used in computing, the term is believed to have been coined by IBM in 1969 from the design objective "never to let the user wait more than a few nanocenturies for a response".[45] A nanocentury is one-billionth of a century or approximately 3.156 seconds. Tom Duff is cited as saying that, to within half a percent, a nanocentury is π seconds.[46]

New York second

The New York second ("the shortest unit of time in the multiverse") is defined in Terry Pratchett's novel Lords and Ladies as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind one honking.[47] The idiomatic expression "in a New York minute", used in various contexts to mean an instant or a very short time, is of similar origin, referring to the busyness of New York and impatience of its residents.

Ohnosecond

An "ohnosecond" is the second after one makes a terrible mistake, such as deleting the wrong file or sending a text message to the wrong person, where the person in question can do nothing but say "oh no".[48] The term is believed to originate from Elizabeth Powell Crowe's 1993 novel, The Electronic Traveler.[49]

Scaramucci

A Scaramucci (or Mooch) is 11 (sometimes 10) days and is named after the length of White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci's tenure under President Trump.[50][51][52][53]

Shake

Main article: shake (unit)

In nuclear physics, a shake is 10 nanoseconds, the approximate time for a generation within a nuclear chain reaction. The term comes from the expression "two shakes of a lamb's tail", meaning quickly.[54]

Tatum

Main article: tatum (music)

A tatum is the "lowest regular pulse train that a listener intuitively infers from the timing of perceived musical events". It is named after the jazz pianist Art Tatum,[55] who was notable for his high-speed playing.

Radioactivity

Banana equivalent dose, the amount of radiation exposure gained from eating an average banana.[56] A single BED is considered to be negligibly small, posing no health risk.

Non-conventional

These units describe dimensions which are not and cannot be covered by the International System of Units.

Blatt (odor)

In Steven Levy's book Hackers: Heroes of the Computer Revolution, Levy mentions how Richard Greenblatt prioritized his work over bathing, leading to a strong stench. Therefore, Greenblatt's coworkers conceived of the blatt as a joke, though the milliblatt was used more, as the blatt was so powerful it was "just about inconceivable".[57]

Canard (quackery)

The canard is a unit of quackery created by Andy Lewis in the need for a fractional index measuring pseudoscience.[58] It is proposed as an SI unit to replace the old "Crackpot Index"[59] that was presented in 1998.

Quack words include 'energy', 'holistic', 'vibrations', 'magnetic healing', 'quantum'. These words are usually borrowed from physics and used to promote dubious health claims.

The scale is from 0 to 10, with 0 being 'no quackery' and 10 being 'complete quackery'.[60][verification needed]

Dirac (information flow)

Physicist Paul Dirac was known among his colleagues for his precise yet taciturn nature. His colleagues in Cambridge jokingly defined a unit of a dirac which was one word per hour.[61]

Garn (nausea)

The Garn is a unit used by NASA to measure nausea and travel sickness caused by space adaptation syndrome. It is named after astronaut Jake Garn, who was frequently sick during tests and on orbit.[62] A score of one Garn means the sufferer is completely incapacitated.[63]

gkB (irritation)

The Swedish video game magazine Sega Force, no. 1, 1994, measured irritation in gram knäckeBröd (gkB), or grams of crispbread crumbs per cm2 in a bed where you've just lain down to sleep.

The Sega Genesis game T2 The Movie was judged to have an irritation level of 8.6 gkB, which, according to the magazine, "is so high that you'll need an oxygen mask, and is dangerously close to the 'berzerk' limit, which in Sweden is just over 9 gkB if the summer has been nice".[64]

Hawking Index (reading capacity)

Main article: Hawking Index

The Hawking Index (HI) is a unit given as a percentage, of how many people will finish a book they start. Invented by mathematician Jordan Ellenberg, books with a lower HI are less likely to be completed. It is named after Stephen Hawking, whose book A Brief History of Time scores 6.6% on the scale.[65]

Helen (beauty)

Main article: Helen (unit)

Helen of Troy (from the Iliad) is widely known as "the face that launched a thousand ships". Thus, 1 millihelen is the amount of beauty needed to launch a single ship. Other derived units such as the negative helen (the power to beach ships) have also been described.

Lenat (bogosity)

The unit of bogosity, i.e. how bogus a person, claim, or proceeding is, derived from the fictional field of Quantum bogodynamics, is the Lenat, named after Douglas Lenat, a computer scientist and professor who failed one of his students on an exam because they answered "AI is bogus" on all of the questions. The Lenat itself is seldom used, as it is understood to be too large for normal conversation; its most common form is the microLenat.[66][67]

Lovelace (software quality)

The Lovelace (Ll) is the unit of the lack of quality of an operating system, i.e., a measure of system administrators' opinions about how badly the system "sucks". The unit has been coined by members of the system administrator profession who hold a basic tenet that "software that does not suck does not exist". According to the Usenet alt.sysadmin.recovery FAQ,[68] one Lovelace is considered a rather large quantity. SI prefixes are commonly used to denote practical quantities.

MegaFonzie (coolness)

A MegaFonzie is a fictional unit of measurement of an object's coolness invented by Professor Farnsworth in the 2003 Futurama episode "Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV". A 'Fonzie' is about the amount of coolness inherent in the Happy Days character Fonzie.[69]

Pouter (obstruction)

During World War II, scientists working for the British Department of Miscellaneous Weapons Development encountered a particularly obstructive Royal Navy officer called Commander Pouter, for whom the unit of Obstruction was named, due to his implacable opposition to any work being carried out in the field for which he was personally responsible.

Subsequently, the micropouter was used, as it was hoped that no individual of a similarly difficult disposition would be encountered, and the pouter was too large a unit for everyday use.[70]

Rictus scale (media coverage of earthquakes)

Tom Weller suggests the Rictus scale for earthquake intensity (a takeoff of the conventional Richter scale), measuring media coverage of the event.[71]

Rictus scale # Richter scale equivalent Media coverage
1 0–3 Small articles in local papers
2 3–5 Lead story on local news; mentioned on network news
3 5–6.5 Lead story on network news; wire-service photos appear in newspapers nationally; governor visits scene
4 6.5–7.5 Network correspondents sent to scene; president visits area; commemorative T-shirts appear
5 7.5+ Covers of weekly news magazines; network specials; "instant books" appear

Shortz (fame)

This is a unit of fame, hype, or infamy, named for the American puzzle creator and editor, Will Shortz. The measure is the number of times one's name has appeared in The New York Times crossword puzzle as either a clue or solution. Arguably, this number should only be calculated for the Shortz era (1993–present). Shortz himself is 1 Shortz famous.[citation needed]

Springfield (county fairs)

Invented by San Francisco Chronicle culture critic Peter Hartlaub, this rates county fairs by the quality of their musical acts. Fairs are rated a scale of one to four Springfields, "in honor of Rick Springfield, arguably the greatest county fair free act in history."[72]

Standardised Giraffe Unit (animal size)

Animal SGU Units
Corgi 0.05
Canada Goose 0.14
Duck 0.2
Penguin 0.2
Half a giraffe 0.5
Peacock 0.55
Elephant 1.25

The standardised giraffe unit (SGU) is proposed by the European Space Agency's Near-Earth Object Coordination Centre as a standardised unit for animal size reference.[73] The agency defines defined the SGU in terms of other animals as shown in the adjoining table.

Thaum (magic)

In the Discworld series of comic fantasy novels by Terry Pratchett, the thaum is basic unit of magical strength, definded as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal sized billiard balls.[74]

Warhol (fame)

This is a unit of fame or hype, derived from the dictum attributed to Andy Warhol that "everyone will be world-famous for fifteen minutes". It represents fifteen minutes of fame. Some multiples are:

  • 1 kilowarhol – famous for 15,000 minutes, or 10.42 days. A sort of metric "nine-day wonder".
  • 1 megawarhol – famous for 15 million minutes, or 28.5 years.

First used by Cullen Murphy in 1997.[75]

Wheaton (influence)

The Wheaton is a measurement of Twitter followers relative to celebrity Wil Wheaton, equal to 500,000 followers. The unit was invented by John Kovalic in the May 21, 2009 edition of his webcomic Dork Tower.[76] The comic includes references to units named for other celebrities, such as Neil Gaiman, John Hodgman, Jonathan Coulton, and Felicia Day.[77][78]

Minutes per Big Mac (economic)

Main article: Big Mac–Wage Metric

Minutes per Big Mac (alternatively, minimum wage minutes per Big Mac) refers to how many minutes one has to work in a country or region at average wage (or, correspondingly, at minimum wage) to afford one Big Mac, a hamburger sold by McDonald's in that country or region.[79][80][81]

See also

Notes

  1. ^ The firkin is normally a unit of volume equal to nine imperial gallons (41 L). The "firkin" of the FFF system is the firkin of water, i.e. the mass of nine imperial gallons of water. The imperial gallon was originally based on the volume of ten pounds (4.5 kg) of water (under certain thermodynamic conditions). This gives us a water density of ten pounds per imperial gallon (1 kg/L). Using this as a basis of our calculation we obtain ninety pounds (41 kg) for the firkin of water.
  2. ^ Dimwit Flathead defoliated the Fublio Valley to make a huge statue of himself. The literature for Zork describes the area defoliated as 400,000 acres (which equals 625 square miles), whereas that for Zork Zero gives the area as 1,400 square bloits. This would define the bloit as 0.668 miles, 3,527.8 feet, or 1.075 km.

References

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January 01, 1970
list, humorous, units, measurement, many, people, have, made, invented, units, measurement, intended, primarily, their, humor, value, this, list, such, units, invented, sources, that, notable, reasons, other, than, having, made, unit, itself, that, widely, kno. Many people have made use of or invented units of measurement intended primarily for their humor value This is a list of such units invented by sources that are notable for reasons other than having made the unit itself and that are widely known in the Anglophone world for their humor value Contents 1 Systems 1 1 FFF units 1 2 Great Underground Empire Zork 1 3 Potrzebie 2 Quantity 2 1 Sagan 3 Length 3 1 Altuve 3 2 Attoparsec 3 3 Beard second 3 4 Bee s dick 3 5 Jimmy Griffin Snow Index 3 6 Mickey 3 7 Muggeseggele 3 8 Sheppey 3 9 Smoot 3 10 Wiffle 4 Area 4 1 Barn outhouse shed 4 2 Nanoacre 5 Volume 5 1 Barn megaparsec 5 2 Hubble barn 6 Power 6 1 Donkey power 6 2 Pirate ninja 7 Time 7 1 Friedman 7 2 Jiffy 7 3 Microcentury 7 4 Nanocentury 7 5 New York second 7 6 Ohnosecond 7 7 Scaramucci 7 8 Shake 7 9 Tatum 8 Radioactivity 9 Non conventional 9 1 Blatt odor 9 2 Canard quackery 9 3 Dirac information flow 9 4 Garn nausea 9 5 gkB irritation 9 6 Hawking Index reading capacity 9 7 Helen beauty 9 8 Lenat bogosity 9 9 Lovelace software quality 9 10 MegaFonzie coolness 9 11 Pouter obstruction 9 12 Rictus scale media coverage of earthquakes 9 13 Shortz fame 9 14 Springfield county fairs 9 15 Standardised Giraffe Unit animal size 9 16 Thaum magic 9 17 Warhol fame 9 18 Wheaton influence 9 19 Minutes per Big Mac economic 10 See also 11 Notes 12 ReferencesSystemsFFF units Main article FFF system Unit Dimension Definition SI Value furlong length 660 ft 201 168 m firkin a mass 90 lb 40 8233 kg fortnight time 14 days 1 209 600 s Most countries use the International System of Units SI In contrast the furlong firkin fortnight system of units of measurement draws attention by being extremely old fashioned and off beat at the same time 1 One furlong per fortnight is very nearly 1 centimetre per minute to within 1 part in 400 Besides having the meaning of any obscure unit furlongs per fortnight have also served frequently in the classroom as an example on how to reduce a unit s fraction The speed of light may be expressed as being roughly 1 8 terafurlongs per fortnight or megafurlongs per microfortnight 2 3 Great Underground Empire Zork In the Zork series of games the Great Underground Empire has its own system of measurements the most frequently referenced of which is the bloit Defined as the distance the king s favorite pet can run in one hour spoofing a popular legend about the history of the foot the length of the bloit varies dramatically but the one canonical conversion to real world units puts it at approximately two thirds of a mile 1 km b Liquid volume is measured in gloops and temperature in degrees Q 57 Q is said to be the freezing point of water 4 Potrzebie In issue 33 Mad published a partial table of the Potrzebie System of Weights and Measures developed by 19 year old Donald E Knuth later a famed computer scientist According to Knuth the basis of this new revolutionary system is the potrzebie which equals the thickness of Mad issue 26 or 2 263348 451 743 817 321 6473 mm 5 Volume was measured in ngogn equal to 1000 cubic potrzebies mass in blintz equal to the mass of 1 ngogn of halva which is a form of pie with a specific gravity of 3 1416 and a specific heat of 31416 and time in seven named units decimal powers of the average earth rotation equal to 1 clarke The system also features such units as whatmeworry cowznofski vreeble hoo and hah According to the Date system in Knuth s article which substitutes a 10 clarke mingo for a month and a 100 clarke cowznofski for a year the date of October 29 2007 is rendered as Cal 7 201 C M for Cowznofsko Madi or in the Cowznofski of our MAD The dates are calculated from October 1 1952 the date MAD was first published Dates before this point are referred to perhaps tongue in cheek as B M Before MAD The ten Mingoes are Tales Tal Calculated Cal To To Drive Dri You You Humor Hum In In A A Jugular Jug Vein Vei QuantitySagan See also Indefinite and fictitious numbers Sagan s number As a humorous tribute to Carl Sagan and his association with the catchphrase billions and billions a sagan has been defined as a large quantity technically at least four billion two billion plus two billion of anything 6 7 LengthAltuve In the sport of baseball the Altuve is an informal measurement of distance equal to 5 feet 5 inches or 1 65 m the height of Houston Astros player Jose Altuve one of the shortest players in Major League Baseball 8 Attoparsec Parsecs are used in astronomy to measure interstellar distances A parsec is approximately 3 26 light years or about 3 086 1016 m 1 917 1013 mi Combining it with the atto prefix 10 18 yields attoparsec apc a conveniently human scaled unit of about 3 086 centimetres 1 215 in that is used only humorously 9 Beard second The beard second is a unit of length inspired by the light year but applicable to extremely short distances such as those in integrated circuits It is the length an average beard grows in one second Kemp Bennett Kolb defines the distance as exactly 100 angstroms 10 nanometres 10 as does Nordling and Osterman s Physics Handbook 11 Google Calculator uses 5 nm 12 Bee s dick An Australian term for a very small distance as in he missed crashing into the truck by a bee s dick It is derived from the presumed small size of a male bee s penis 13 Jimmy Griffin Snow Index Television station WKBW TV in Buffalo New York developed the Jimmy Griffin Snow Index to measure the potential severity of a snowstorm It is named after former Buffalo mayor James D Griffin who in 1985 earned the nickname Six Pack Jimmy after suggesting residents grab a six pack of Genesee beer to wait out an upcoming snowstorm The index is measured in cans of beer with roughly one can for every 4 inches 10 cm of expected snowfall the index is not perfectly linear at its lower levels as originally introduced thus Griffin s six pack would be recommended for a storm bringing two feet of snow 14 Mickey One mickey is the smallest resolvable unit of distance by a given computer mouse pointing device It is named after Walt Disney s Mickey Mouse cartoon character 15 Mouse motion is reported in horizontal and vertical mickeys Device sensitivity is usually specified in mickeys per inch Typical resolution is 500 mickeys per inch 16 mickeys per mm but resolutions up to 16 000 mickeys per inch 600 mickeys per mm are available Muggeseggele A Muggeseggele is a humorous Alemannic German idiom used in Swabia to designate a nonspecific very small length or amount of something it refers to a housefly s scrotum 16 17 Sheppey A measure of distance equal to about 7 8 of a mile 1 4 km defined as the closest distance at which sheep remain picturesque The Sheppey is the creation of Douglas Adams and John Lloyd included in The Meaning of Liff their dictionary of putative meanings for words that are actually just place names 18 It is named after the Isle of Sheppey in the UK Smoot Main article Smoot The Smoot is a unit of length defined as the height in 1958 of Oliver R Smoot who later became the chairman of the American National Standards Institute ANSI and then the president of the International Organization for Standardization ISO The unit is used to measure the length of the Harvard Bridge Canonically and originally in 1958 when Smoot was a Lambda Chi Alpha pledge at MIT class of 1962 the bridge was measured to be 364 4 Smoots plus or minus one ear using Mr Smoot himself as a ruler 19 At the time Smoot was 5 feet 7 inches or 170 cm tall 20 Google Earth and Google Calculator include the smoot as a unit of measurement The Cambridge Massachusetts police department adopted the convention of using Smoots to measure the locations of accidents and incidents on the bridge When the original markings were removed or covered over during bridge maintenance the police had to request that someone reapply the Smoot scale markings 21 During a major bridge rebuild the concrete sidewalk was permanently divided into segments one Smoot in length as opposed to the regular division of six feet 22 Wiffle A wiffle also referred to as a WAM for Wiffle ball assisted measurement is equal to a sphere 89 millimetres 3 5 inches in diameter the size of a Wiffle ball a perforated light weight plastic ball frequently used by marine biologists as a size reference in photos to measure corals and other objects 23 24 The spherical shape makes it omnidirectional and perfect for taking a speedy measurement and the open design also allows it to avoid being crushed by water pressure Wiffle balls are a much cheaper alternative to using two reference lasers which often pass straight through gaps in thin corals A scientist on the research vessel EV Nautilus is credited with pioneering the technique 25 failed verification AreaBarn outhouse shed A barn is a serious metric unit of area used by nuclear physicists to quantify the scattering or absorption cross section of very small particles such as atomic nuclei 26 One barn is equal to 1 0 10 28 m2 The name derives from the folk expressions As big as a barn and Couldn t hit the broad side of a barn used by particle accelerator physicists to refer to the probability of achieving a collision between particles For nuclear purposes 1 0 10 28 m2 is actually rather large 27 The outhouse 1 0 10 6 barns and shed 1 0 10 24 barns are derived by analogy 28 29 30 Nanoacre The nanoacre is a unit of real estate on a very large scale integration VLSI chip equal to 0 00627264 sq in 4 0468564224 mm2 or the area of a square of side length 0 0792 in 2 01168 mm VLSI nanoacres have similar total costs to acres in Silicon Valley 31 VolumeBarn megaparsec This unit is similar in concept to the attoparsec combining very large and small scales When a barn a very small unit of area used for measuring the cross sectional area of atomic nuclei is multiplied by a megaparsec a very large unit of length used for measuring the distances between galaxies the result is a human scaled unit of volume approximately equal to 2 3 of a teaspoon about 3 mL 32 33 Hubble barn Similar to the barn megaparsec the Hubble barn uses the barn with the Hubble length which is the radius of the visible universe as derived by using the Hubble constant and the speed of light This amounts to around 13 1 litres 3 46 US gallons 2 88 Imperial gallons PowerDonkey power This facetious engineering unit is defined as 250 watts about a third of a horsepower 34 Pirate ninja A pirate ninja is defined as one kilowatt hour 3 6 MJ per Martian day or sol It is equivalent to approximately 40 55 watts It is used in the 2011 novel The Martian by Andy Weir Weir said in a 2015 interview that the Curiosity rover team at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory uses the similar unit watt hours per sol in their meetings and the team told Weir that they should just call them milli pirate ninjas 35 TimeFriedman Main article Friedman unit The Friedman is approximately six months specifically six months in the future and named after columnist Thomas Friedman who repeatedly used the span in reference to when a determination of Iraq s future could be surmised 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 Jiffy Main article Jiffy time A jiffy is a unit of time used in computer operating systems being the interval of time between system timer interrupts This interval varies from system to system but is typically between 1 and 10 milliseconds Microcentury According to Gian Carlo Rota 43 the mathematician John von Neumann used the term microcentury to denote the maximum length of a lecture One microcentury is 52 minutes and 35 7 seconds one millionth of a century 44 Nanocentury A unit sometimes used in computing the term is believed to have been coined by IBM in 1969 from the design objective never to let the user wait more than a few nanocenturies for a response 45 A nanocentury is one billionth of a century or approximately 3 156 seconds Tom Duff is cited as saying that to within half a percent a nanocentury is p seconds 46 New York second The New York second the shortest unit of time in the multiverse is defined in Terry Pratchett s novel Lords and Ladies as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind one honking 47 The idiomatic expression in a New York minute used in various contexts to mean an instant or a very short time is of similar origin referring to the busyness of New York and impatience of its residents Ohnosecond An ohnosecond is the second after one makes a terrible mistake such as deleting the wrong file or sending a text message to the wrong person where the person in question can do nothing but say oh no 48 The term is believed to originate from Elizabeth Powell Crowe s 1993 novel The Electronic Traveler 49 Scaramucci A Scaramucci or Mooch is 11 sometimes 10 days and is named after the length of White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci s tenure under President Trump 50 51 52 53 Shake Main article shake unit In nuclear physics a shake is 10 nanoseconds the approximate time for a generation within a nuclear chain reaction The term comes from the expression two shakes of a lamb s tail meaning quickly 54 Tatum Main article tatum music A tatum is the lowest regular pulse train that a listener intuitively infers from the timing of perceived musical events It is named after the jazz pianist Art Tatum 55 who was notable for his high speed playing RadioactivityBanana equivalent dose the amount of radiation exposure gained from eating an average banana 56 A single BED is considered to be negligibly small posing no health risk Non conventionalThese units describe dimensions which are not and cannot be covered by the International System of Units Blatt odor In Steven Levy s book Hackers Heroes of the Computer Revolution Levy mentions how Richard Greenblatt prioritized his work over bathing leading to a strong stench Therefore Greenblatt s coworkers conceived of the blatt as a joke though the milliblatt was used more as the blatt was so powerful it was just about inconceivable 57 Canard quackery The canard is a unit of quackery created by Andy Lewis in the need for a fractional index measuring pseudoscience 58 It is proposed as an SI unit to replace the old Crackpot Index 59 that was presented in 1998 Quack words include energy holistic vibrations magnetic healing quantum These words are usually borrowed from physics and used to promote dubious health claims The scale is from 0 to 10 with 0 being no quackery and 10 being complete quackery 60 verification needed Dirac information flow Physicist Paul Dirac was known among his colleagues for his precise yet taciturn nature His colleagues in Cambridge jokingly defined a unit of a dirac which was one word per hour 61 Garn nausea The Garn is a unit used by NASA to measure nausea and travel sickness caused by space adaptation syndrome It is named after astronaut Jake Garn who was frequently sick during tests and on orbit 62 A score of one Garn means the sufferer is completely incapacitated 63 gkB irritation The Swedish video game magazine Sega Force no 1 1994 measured irritation in gram knackeBrod gkB or grams of crispbread crumbs per cm2 in a bed where you ve just lain down to sleep The Sega Genesis game T2 The Movie was judged to have an irritation level of 8 6 gkB which according to the magazine is so high that you ll need an oxygen mask and is dangerously close to the berzerk limit which in Sweden is just over 9 gkB if the summer has been nice 64 Hawking Index reading capacity Main article Hawking Index The Hawking Index HI is a unit given as a percentage of how many people will finish a book they start Invented by mathematician Jordan Ellenberg books with a lower HI are less likely to be completed It is named after Stephen Hawking whose book A Brief History of Time scores 6 6 on the scale 65 Helen beauty Main article Helen unit Helen of Troy from the Iliad is widely known as the face that launched a thousand ships Thus 1 millihelen is the amount of beauty needed to launch a single ship Other derived units such as the negative helen the power to beach ships have also been described Lenat bogosity The unit of bogosity i e how bogus a person claim or proceeding is derived from the fictional field of Quantum bogodynamics is the Lenat named after Douglas Lenat a computer scientist and professor who failed one of his students on an exam because they answered AI is bogus on all of the questions The Lenat itself is seldom used as it is understood to be too large for normal conversation its most common form is the microLenat 66 67 Lovelace software quality The Lovelace Ll is the unit of the lack of quality of an operating system i e a measure of system administrators opinions about how badly the system sucks The unit has been coined by members of the system administrator profession who hold a basic tenet that software that does not suck does not exist According to the Usenet alt sysadmin recovery FAQ 68 one Lovelace is considered a rather large quantity SI prefixes are commonly used to denote practical quantities MegaFonzie coolness A MegaFonzie is a fictional unit of measurement of an object s coolness invented by Professor Farnsworth in the 2003 Futurama episode Bender Should Not Be Allowed on TV A Fonzie is about the amount of coolness inherent in the Happy Days character Fonzie 69 Pouter obstruction During World War II scientists working for the British Department of Miscellaneous Weapons Development encountered a particularly obstructive Royal Navy officer called Commander Pouter for whom the unit of Obstruction was named due to his implacable opposition to any work being carried out in the field for which he was personally responsible Subsequently the micropouter was used as it was hoped that no individual of a similarly difficult disposition would be encountered and the pouter was too large a unit for everyday use 70 Rictus scale media coverage of earthquakes Tom Weller suggests the Rictus scale for earthquake intensity a takeoff of the conventional Richter scale measuring media coverage of the event 71 Rictus scale Richter scale equivalent Media coverage 1 0 3 Small articles in local papers 2 3 5 Lead story on local news mentioned on network news 3 5 6 5 Lead story on network news wire service photos appear in newspapers nationally governor visits scene 4 6 5 7 5 Network correspondents sent to scene president visits area commemorative T shirts appear 5 7 5 Covers of weekly news magazines network specials instant books appear Shortz fame This is a unit of fame hype or infamy named for the American puzzle creator and editor Will Shortz The measure is the number of times one s name has appeared in The New York Times crossword puzzle as either a clue or solution Arguably this number should only be calculated for the Shortz era 1993 present Shortz himself is 1 Shortz famous citation needed Springfield county fairs Invented by San Francisco Chronicle culture critic Peter Hartlaub this rates county fairs by the quality of their musical acts Fairs are rated a scale of one to four Springfields in honor of Rick Springfield arguably the greatest county fair free act in history 72 Standardised Giraffe Unit animal size Animal SGU Units Corgi 0 05 Canada Goose 0 14 Duck 0 2 Penguin 0 2 Half a giraffe 0 5 Peacock 0 55 Elephant 1 25 The standardised giraffe unit SGU is proposed by the European Space Agency s Near Earth Object Coordination Centre as a standardised unit for animal size reference 73 The agency defines defined the SGU in terms of other animals as shown in the adjoining table Thaum magic In the Discworld series of comic fantasy novels by Terry Pratchett the thaum is basic unit of magical strength definded as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal sized billiard balls 74 Warhol fame This is a unit of fame or hype derived from the dictum attributed to Andy Warhol that everyone will be world famous for fifteen minutes It represents fifteen minutes of fame Some multiples are 1 kilowarhol famous for 15 000 minutes or 10 42 days A sort of metric nine day wonder 1 megawarhol famous for 15 million minutes or 28 5 years First used by Cullen Murphy in 1997 75 Wheaton influence The Wheaton is a measurement of Twitter followers relative to celebrity Wil Wheaton equal to 500 000 followers The unit was invented by John Kovalic in the May 21 2009 edition of his webcomic Dork Tower 76 The comic includes references to units named for other celebrities such as Neil Gaiman John Hodgman Jonathan Coulton and Felicia Day 77 78 Minutes per Big Mac economic Main article Big Mac Wage Metric Minutes per Big Mac alternatively minimum wage minutes per Big Mac refers to how many minutes one has to work in a country or region at average wage or correspondingly at minimum wage to afford one Big Mac a hamburger sold by McDonald s in that country or region 79 80 81 See alsoHistory of measurement Indefinite and fictitious numbers List of obsolete units of measurement List of unusual units of measurement Outline of metrology and measurement Systems of measurementNotes The firkin is normally a unit of volume equal to nine imperial gallons 41 L The firkin of the FFF system is the firkin of water i e the mass of nine imperial gallons of water The imperial gallon was originally based on the volume of ten pounds 4 5 kg of water under certain thermodynamic conditions This gives us a water density of ten pounds per imperial gallon 1 kg L Using this as a basis of our calculation we obtain ninety pounds 41 kg for the firkin of water Dimwit Flathead defoliated the Fublio Valley to make a huge statue of himself The literature for Zork describes the area defoliated as 400 000 acres which equals 625 square miles whereas that for Zork Zero gives the area as 1 400 square bloits This would define the bloit as 0 668 miles 3 527 8 feet or 1 075 km ReferencesListen to this article 21 minutes source source nbsp This audio file was created from a revision of this article dated 9 March 2024 2024 03 09 and does not reflect subsequent edits Audio help More spoken articles Kissell Joe Furlongs Per Fortnight Interesting Thing of the Day itotd com c in furlongs per fortnight Google Search Retrieved March 10 2006 FAQ for newsgroup UK rec sheds version 2 amp 3 7th 2000 Archived from the original TXT on March 6 2006 Retrieved March 10 2006 Encyclopedia Frobozzica Infocom 1993 Donald E Knuth Selected Papers on Fun amp Games Stanford Center for the Study of Language and Information 2011 chapter 1 The Potrzebie System of Weights and Measures pages 1 8 The chapter is a reprint of the MAD 33 article The Potrzebie System of Weights and Measures Neatorama com January 15 2008 Retrieved September 5 2011 In the addendum Knuth clarifies that the accidental dropping of the second 4 in the 7th decimal place was a typo by the MAD typesetters sagan Jargon File P M Gresshoff 2004 Book Reviews Plant Signal Transduction Annals of Botany 93 6 783 786 doi 10 1093 aob mch102 PMC 4242307 Diminutive Altuve drawing fans attention Yardbarker October 6 2018 jargon node attoparsec jargon net Kemp Bennett Kolb 2008 The beard second a new unit of length This Book Warps Space and Time Andrews McMeel p 13 ISBN 978 0 7407 7713 4 Nordling Carl Osterman Jonny 2006 Physics Handbook for Science and Engineering eighth ed Studentlitteratur ISBN 91 44 04453 4 Google Search 5 nanometers in beard seconds Archived from the original on June 9 2017 Australian slang January 9 2012 Parker Andy December 5 2017 Jimmy Griffin Snow Index for the December 5 8 2017 lake effect snow event WKBW TV official Twitter account Retrieved December 5 2017 Rowlett Russ November 20 2001 How Many A Dictionary of Units of Measurement University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Archived from the original on July 1 2014 Retrieved January 23 2014 Sonntag Christoph 2011 Langenscheidt Schwabisch fur Anfanger in German Langenscheidt p 12 ISBN 9783468692956 permanent dead link Janes Jackson April 8 2014 From the AICGS Bookshelf Out of the Tower American Institute for Contemporary German Studies Johns Hopkins University Retrieved October 25 2014 Adams Douglas amp Lloyd John 1984 The Meaning of Liff Harmony Books ISBN 0 517 55347 3 Smoot in Stone MIT News Cambridge Massachusetts Massachusetts Institute of Technology June 4 2009 Retrieved July 20 2010 Specifically noting the bridge s length of 364 4 Smoots 1 ear the plaque a gift of the MIT Class of 1962 honors the prank s 50th anniversary smoot The Jargon File version 4 4 7 Retrieved June 27 2006 Keyser describes his top five hacks MIT News Office September 1999 Retrieved January 20 2013 Fahrenthold David A The Measure of This Man Is in the Smoot The Washington Post Retrieved May 23 2010 Live Webcams Scientists Studying Corals Damaged by Oil in the Gulf of Mexico Penn State Science June 25 2014 PHOTOS amp VIDEO Nautilus Live Retrieved April 30 2015 1 2 Units Sig Figs Estimation University of Tennessee Knoxville Fall 2019 Retrieved August 8 2021 Chapter 4 1 Non SI units accepted for use with the SI and units based on fundamental constants SI brochure 8th ed International Bureau of Weights and Measures BIPM May 2006 Archived from the original on July 25 2008 Retrieved March 13 2009 Marshall Holloway and Richard Baker 13 March 1944 Note on the Origin of the Term Barn LAMS 523 cited in Lillian Hoddeson et al Critical Assembly p 430 footnote 51 Barn Whittle K 2020 Evolution of reactor technologies In Nuclear Materials Science 2nd ed IOP Publishing Sherman T H 2012 Development of an advanced neutron activation analysis protocol at the University of Utah nuclear engineering facility The University of Utah nanoacre The Jargon File Retrieved March 10 2006 Hesse Christian 2012 Christian Hesses mathematisches Sammelsurium in German C H Beck p 90 ISBN 9783406637070 Klasson Kerstin 1977 Developments in the Terminology of Physics and Technology Almqvist amp Wiksell International p 153 ISBN 9789122001249 Rowlett Russ 2001 How Many A Dictionary of Units of Measurement University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Archived from the original on July 1 2014 Retrieved November 8 2006 Adam Savage amp Andy Weir June 11 2015 Adam Savage Interviews The Martian Author Andy Weir The Talking Room streaming media Tested com Event occurs at 33 15 Archived from the original on December 13 2021 Retrieved March 6 2018 Friedman Finally Urges Fixed Date for U S Pullout Editor amp Publisher December 7 2006 permanent dead link Klein Ezra December 8 2006 TAPPED The American Prospect Archived from the original on September 30 2007 Retrieved June 8 2010 Gen Petreaus is in Think Progress Center for American Progress February 28 2007 Drum Kevin November 1 2006 Meltdown in Iraq The Washington Monthly Alterman Eric April 5 2007 The Politics of Pundit Prestige The Nation Archived from the original on July 2 2009 Froomkin Dan May 8 2007 Four More Months The Washington Post Yglesias Matthew May 9 2007 More Friedman Units to Come The Atlantic Gian Carlo Rota January 1997 Ten Lessons I Wish I Had Been Taught Notices of the AMS Archived from the original on February 5 2012 Microcentury Susam Pal susam net Retrieved November 3 2021 IBM Data Processing Division 1969 Proceedings IBM Scientific Computing Symposium on Computers in Chemistry International Business Machines Corporation p 82 Jon Louis Bentley 2000 Programming pearls Addison Wesley Professional p 70 ISBN 0 201 65788 0 Pratchett Terry 1992 Lords and Ladies Gollancz Scott Tom June 1 2020 The Worst Typo I Ever Made YouTube Archived from the original on December 13 2021 Retrieved February 4 2021 Ohnosecond What does ohnosecond mean Technopedia December 12 2022 Krawczyk Kathryn August 29 2019 Anthony Scaramucci measures time in Mooches The Week Rentoul John September 6 2019 The Top 10 Units of Measurement The Independent Garg Anu A Word A Day scaramouch Wordsmith SALT Talks Election 2020 with Anthony Scaramucci Clancy Tom 1991 The Sum of All Fears Putnam p 702 ISBN 0 399 13615 0 Jehan Tristan 2005 3 4 3 Creating Music By Listening PhD thesis MIT Maggie Koerth 27 August 2010 Bananas are radioactive BoingBoing Levy Steven 2010 Hackers Heroes of the Computer Revolution 25th Anniversary ed O Reilly Media p 63 ISBN 978 1449393748 Retrieved September 25 2020 Towards a universal crackpot standard New Scientist No 2758 April 28 2010 p 64 Retrieved April 6 2012 Crackpot index math ucr edu The Quackometer Blog The Quackometer Farmelo Graham 2009 The Strangest Man The Hidden Life of Paul Dirac Quantum Genius Faber amp Faber p 89 ISBN 978 0 571 22286 5 Mullane Mike 2007 Riding Rockets The Outrageous Tales of a Space Shuttle Astronaut Scribner ISBN 978 0 7432 7682 5 Illness QI Series I Episode 9 London November 4 2011 BBC BBC Two Sega Force no 1 1994 Donk Kelsey December 9 2019 The Hawking Index Is a Mathematical Measure of When People Give Up on Books Curiosity Archived from the original on January 1 2020 Retrieved January 1 2020 Raymond Eric S 1996 The New Hacker s Dictionary MIT Press ISBN 978 0262680929 The Jargon File microLenat Winter 2003 Retrieved July 27 2014 Aalt sysadmin recovery FAQ v1 799999999999999998 www faqs org Proteus A Treatise on Units of Measurement Gameslave Archived from the original on November 23 2007 Pawle Gerald 1957 The Secret War 1939 45 William Sloane Associates pp 51 52 Weller Tom 1985 Science Made Stupid Houghton Mifflin p 76 ISBN 0 395 36646 1 Hartlaub Peter July 7 2005 One hit wonders Has beens Who cares It s a free concert at the county fair San Francisco Chronicle Retrieved January 27 2023 Newsletter April 2024 2024 p 2 Pratchett Terry June 2 1986 The Light Fantastic London Corgi p 45 ISBN 978 0 552 12848 3 Murphy Cullen October 2 1997 Too Much of a Good Thing How much hype is overhype Slate Retrieved March 10 2006 Kovalic John May 21 2009 The Milliwheaton Dork Tower Retrieved August 8 2021 Madden John November 23 2009 11 Ways Geeks Measure the World GeekDad Wired com Archived from the original on September 9 2011 Retrieved September 5 2011 The Wheaton and Other Unusual Units of Measurement www mentalfloss com May 6 2011 Boesler Matthew Here s How Many Minutes Of Working Minimum Wage It Takes To Buy A Big Mac All Around The World Business Insider Retrieved March 11 2024 Dyvik Einar Working time required to buy a Big Mac in cities worldwide 2018 Statista Mahapatra Lisa August 20 2013 The Global Economy Minutes Of Minimum Wage Work To Buy A Big Mac International Business Times Retrieved from https en wikipedia org w index php title List of humorous units of measurement amp oldid 1221560015, wikipedia, wiki, book, books, library,

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