A love–hate relationship has been linked to the occurrence of emotional ambivalence in early childhood;[5] to conflicting responses by different ego states within the same person;[6] or to the inevitable co-existence of egoistic conflicts with the object of love.[7]
Narcissists and borderlines have been seen as particularly prone to aggressive reactions towards love objects,[8] not least when issues of self-identity are involved:[9] in extreme instances, hate at the very existence of the other may be the only emotion felt, until love breaks through behind it.[10]
Love–hate relationships also develop within a familial context, especially between an adult and one or both of their parents.[12] Love–hate relationships and sometimes complete estrangement between adults and one or both of their parents often indicates poor bonding with either parent in infancy, depressive symptoms of parents, borderline or narcissistic pathology in the adult child, and/or parental alienation in childhood. Parents who alienate their children from the other parent frequently suffer from Borderline personality disorder or Narcissistic personality disorder.[13] Children who experience parental alienation techniques by a borderline parent report a higher prevalence of low self-esteem, low self-sufficiency, insecure attachment styles, and higher levels of depression in adulthood. One of the development tasks for humans is to balance the primary love and hate drives as to tolerate ambivalence toward a loved object. When this task is unsuccessfully accomplished, severe psychopathology can ensue. Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) often fail to accomplish the task of ambivalence. They are unable to be simultaneously angry at someone they love, without destroying the love (Corradi, 2013). Children are unable to tolerate the ambivalence, and are indoctrinated to choose. Despite feeling love for their alienated parent, they let go entirely of the loved object. This creates an occasion for the development of ego defenses in the child referred to as “splitting.”
As a way of understanding splitting, a common feature of BPD and NPD, is described as “a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation” (American Psychiatric Association, 2013, p. 663).[14]
A love–hate relationship may develop when people have completely lost the intimacy within a loving relationship, yet still retain some passion for, or perhaps some commitment to, each other, before degenerating into a hate–love relationship leading to divorce.[15]
Culture
The Japanese word "tsundere" comes from two words—tsuntsun (aloof, irritable, cold) and deredere (lovestruck). A tsundere character is one who frequently switches between insulting their love interest and acting lovestruck or kind toward them. Tsundere characters usually belittle their love interest at first but eventually become kinder to them over time.[citation needed]
The concept of a love–hate relationship is frequently used in teen romance novels where two characters are shown to "hate" each other, but show some sort of affection or attraction towards each other at certain points of the story.[17]
^"The mystery behind love-hate relationships - ScienceBlog.com". 8 June 2006.
^Fingerman, KL; Pitzer, L; Lefkowitz, ES; Birditt, KS; Mroczek, D (1 November 2008). "Ambivalent Relationship Qualities between Adults and Their Parents: Implications for Both Parties' Well-being". The Journals of Gerontology: Series B. 63 (6): P362–P371. doi:10.1093/geronb/63.6.p362. PMC2749877. PMID 19092039.
^Baker, AJL (2006). "Patterns of Parental Alienation Syndrome: A Qualitative Study of Adults Who were Alienated from a Parent as a Child" (PDF). The American Journal of Family Therapy. 34 (1): 63–78. doi:10.1080/01926180500301444. Retrieved 22 September 2020.
^Jaffe, AM; Thakkar, MJ; Piron, P (11 May 2017). "Denial of ambivalence as a hallmark of parental alienation". Cogent Psychology. 4 (1): 1–15. doi:10.1080/23311908.2017.1327144.
^J. Boardman et al eds, The Oxford History of the Classical World (1991) p. 489
^. Lexico Dictionaries | English. Archived from the original on October 31, 2020. Retrieved 2021-09-29.
Further reading
John Gottman, Why Marriages Succeed and Fail (1994)
March 20, 2023
love, hate, relationship, love, hate, redirects, here, other, uses, love, hate, love, hate, relationship, interpersonal, relationship, involving, simultaneous, alternating, emotions, love, hate, something, particularly, common, when, emotions, intense, term, u. Love hate redirects here For other uses see Love Hate A love hate relationship is an interpersonal relationship involving simultaneous or alternating emotions of love and hate something particularly common when emotions are intense 1 The term is used frequently in psychology popular writing and journalism It can be applied to relationships with inanimate objects or even concepts 2 3 as well as those of a romantic nature or between siblings and parents children 4 Contents 1 Psychological roots 2 Family and development 3 Culture 4 See also 5 References 6 Further readingPsychological roots EditA love hate relationship has been linked to the occurrence of emotional ambivalence in early childhood 5 to conflicting responses by different ego states within the same person 6 or to the inevitable co existence of egoistic conflicts with the object of love 7 Narcissists and borderlines have been seen as particularly prone to aggressive reactions towards love objects 8 not least when issues of self identity are involved 9 in extreme instances hate at the very existence of the other may be the only emotion felt until love breaks through behind it 10 Research from Yale University suggests love hate relationships may be the result of poor self esteem 11 Family and development EditLove hate relationships also develop within a familial context especially between an adult and one or both of their parents 12 Love hate relationships and sometimes complete estrangement between adults and one or both of their parents often indicates poor bonding with either parent in infancy depressive symptoms of parents borderline or narcissistic pathology in the adult child and or parental alienation in childhood Parents who alienate their children from the other parent frequently suffer from Borderline personality disorder or Narcissistic personality disorder 13 Children who experience parental alienation techniques by a borderline parent report a higher prevalence of low self esteem low self sufficiency insecure attachment styles and higher levels of depression in adulthood One of the development tasks for humans is to balance the primary love and hate drives as to tolerate ambivalence toward a loved object When this task is unsuccessfully accomplished severe psychopathology can ensue Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder BPD and Narcissistic Personality Disorder NPD often fail to accomplish the task of ambivalence They are unable to be simultaneously angry at someone they love without destroying the love Corradi 2013 Children are unable to tolerate the ambivalence and are indoctrinated to choose Despite feeling love for their alienated parent they let go entirely of the loved object This creates an occasion for the development of ego defenses in the child referred to as splitting As a way of understanding splitting a common feature of BPD and NPD is described as a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation American Psychiatric Association 2013 p 663 14 A love hate relationship may develop when people have completely lost the intimacy within a loving relationship yet still retain some passion for or perhaps some commitment to each other before degenerating into a hate love relationship leading to divorce 15 Culture EditThe Japanese word tsundere comes from two words tsuntsun aloof irritable cold and deredere lovestruck A tsundere character is one who frequently switches between insulting their love interest and acting lovestruck or kind toward them Tsundere characters usually belittle their love interest at first but eventually become kinder to them over time citation needed Catullus introduced the love hate theme into Western culture with his famous lines I hate and yet love You may wonder how I manage it I don t know but feel it happen and am in torment 16 The concept of a love hate relationship is frequently used in teen romance novels where two characters are shown to hate each other but show some sort of affection or attraction towards each other at certain points of the story 17 See also EditActaeon Ambivalence Borderline personality disorder False dilemma Femme fatale Frenemy Love triangle Madonna whore complex Jealousy Petrarch Private Lives Psychoanalytic concepts of love and hate Sibling rivalry Splitting psychology Tough love On and off relationship Shipping fandom References Edit Eric Berne A Layman s Guide to Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis 1976 p 86 A love hate relationship The Economist 19 January 2008 Skyhook s love hate relationship with GPS M A Skura Shakespeare the Actor 1993 pp 286 7 Sigmund Freud On Metapsychology PFL 11 p 137 Eric Berne Sex in Human Loving 1970 p 222 Freud p 137 Jacques Lacan Ecrits 1997 pp 24 5 R D Laing Self and Others 1969 p 110 Neville Symington Narcissism 2003 pp 85 6 The mystery behind love hate relationships ScienceBlog com 8 June 2006 Fingerman KL Pitzer L Lefkowitz ES Birditt KS Mroczek D 1 November 2008 Ambivalent Relationship Qualities between Adults and Their Parents Implications for Both Parties Well being The Journals of Gerontology Series B 63 6 P362 P371 doi 10 1093 geronb 63 6 p362 PMC 2749877 PMID 19092039 Baker AJL 2006 Patterns of Parental Alienation Syndrome A Qualitative Study of Adults Who were Alienated from a Parent as a Child PDF The American Journal of Family Therapy 34 1 63 78 doi 10 1080 01926180500301444 Retrieved 22 September 2020 Jaffe AM Thakkar MJ Piron P 11 May 2017 Denial of ambivalence as a hallmark of parental alienation Cogent Psychology 4 1 1 15 doi 10 1080 23311908 2017 1327144 A Pam and J Pearson Splitting Up 1998 p 24 J Boardman et al eds The Oxford History of the Classical World 1991 p 489 LOVE HATE Definition of LOVE HATE by Oxford Dictionary on Lexico com also meaning of LOVE HATE Lexico Dictionaries English Archived from the original on October 31 2020 Retrieved 2021 09 29 Further reading EditJohn Gottman Why Marriages Succeed and Fail 1994 Retrieved from https en wikipedia org w index php title Love hate relationship amp oldid 1135619872, wikipedia, wiki, book, books, library,
