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Playing the victim

April 20, 2023

"Playing the Victim" redirects here. For the film, see Playing the Victim (film).

Playing the victim (also known as victim playing, victim card, or self-victimization) is the fabrication or exaggeration of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify abuse to others, to manipulate others, a coping strategy, attention seeking or diffusion of responsibility. A person who repeatedly does this is known as a "professional victim".

For abuse

Victim playing by abusers is either:[1][2]

It is common for abusers to engage in victim playing. This serves two purposes:

  • Justification, to themselves, in transactional analysis known as existential validation, as a way of dealing with the cognitive dissonance that results from inconsistencies between the way they treat others and what they believe about themselves.
  • Justification to others as a strategy of evading or deflecting harsh judgment or condemnation they may fear from others.

For manipulation

Manipulators often play the victim role ("woe is me") by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain pity or sympathy or to evoke compassion and thereby get something from someone. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering, and the manipulator often finds it easy and rewarding to play on sympathy to get cooperation.[3]

While portraying oneself as a victim can be highly successful in obtaining goals over the short-term, this method tends to be less successful over time:

Victims’ talent for high drama draws people to them like moths to a flame. Their permanent dire state brings out the altruistic motives in others. It is difficult to ignore constant cries for help. In most instances, however, the help given is of short duration. And like moths in a flame, helpers quickly get burned; nothing seems to work to alleviate the victims’ miserable situation; there is no movement for the better. Any efforts rescuers make are ignored, belittled, or met with hostility. No wonder that the rescuers become increasingly frustrated — and walk away.[4]

In political context

While failing to produce any affirmative values, the fetishistic lack of future is masked up by an excess of confirmation of its own status of victimhood, as noted by the Bosnian political theoretician Jasmin Hasanović, seeing it in the post-Yugoslav context as a form of auto-colonialism, where reproducing the narrative of victimhood corresponds with the balkanization stereotypes, being the very narrative of the colonizer where the permanence of war is the contemporaneity of fear, affirming the theses on eternal hatred thus strengthening ethnonationalism even more.[5]

Other goals

Victim playing is also:

In corporate life

The language of "victim playing" has entered modern corporate life, as a potential weapon of all professionals.[6] To define victim-players as dishonest may be an empowering response;[7] as too may be awareness of how childhood boundary issues can underlie the tactic.[8]

In the hustle of office politics, the term may however be abused so as to penalize the legitimate victim of injustice, as well as the role-player.

Underlying psychology

Transactional analysis distinguishes real victims from those who adopt the role in bad faith, ignoring their own capacities to improve their situation.[9] Among the predictable interpersonal "games" psychiatrist Eric Berne identified as common among by victim-players are "Look How Hard I've Tried" and "Wooden Leg".[10]

R. D. Laing considered that "it will be difficult in practice to determine whether or to what extent a relationship is collusive" – when "the one person is predominantly the passive 'victim'",[11] and when they are merely playing the victim. The problem is intensified once a pattern of victimization has been internalised, perhaps in the form of a double bind.[12]

Object relations theory has explored the way possession by a false self can create a permanent sense of victimisation[13] – a sense of always being in the hands of an external fate.[14]

To break the hold of the negative complex, and to escape the passivity of victimhood, requires taking responsibility for one's own desires and long-term actions.[15]

See also

References

  1. ^ Bailey-Rug C (2015) Life After Narcissistic Abuse
  2. ^ Bailey-Rug C (2016) It's Not You, It's Them: When People Are More Than Selfish
  3. ^ Simon, George K (1996). In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People. ISBN 978-0-9651696-0-8.
  4. ^ Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries (2014). Are you a victim of the victim syndrome? Organizational Dynamics 43, pp 130-137 https://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.orgdyn.2014.03.007
  5. ^ Hasanović J. (2021). Mirroring Europeanization: Balkanization and Auto-Colonial Narrative in Bosnia and Herzegovina, Berlin: De Gruyter, pp 93 https://doi.org/10.1515/9783110684216-004
  6. ^ Susan A. DePhillips, Corporate Confidential (2005) p. 65
  7. ^ Anthony C. Mersino, Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers (2007) p. 60 and p. 43
  8. ^ Mersino, p. 104
  9. ^ Petruska Clarkson, Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy (London 1997) p. 217
  10. ^ Eric Berne, Games People Play (Penguin 1964) p. 92 and p. 141-2
  11. ^ R. D. Laing, Self and Others (Penguin 1969) p. 108
  12. ^ Laing, p. 145
  13. ^ Neville Symington, Narcissism: A New Theory (London 1993) p. 116
  14. ^ Michael Parsons, The Dove that Returns, the Dove that Vanishes (London 2000) p. 34
  15. ^ Polly Young-Eisendrath, Women and Desire (London 2000) p. 201 and p. 30
  • Anthony C. Mersino, Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers; The People Skills You Need to Succeed (2012) p. 60 and p. 43

External links

  • Booknotes interview with Charles Sykes on A Nation of Victims: The Decay of the American Character, November 29, 1992

April 20, 2023
playing, victim, playing, victim, redirects, here, film, playing, victim, film, also, known, victim, playing, victim, card, self, victimization, fabrication, exaggeration, victimhood, variety, reasons, such, justify, abuse, others, manipulate, others, coping, . Playing the Victim redirects here For the film see Playing the Victim film Playing the victim also known as victim playing victim card or self victimization is the fabrication or exaggeration of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify abuse to others to manipulate others a coping strategy attention seeking or diffusion of responsibility A person who repeatedly does this is known as a professional victim Contents 1 For abuse 2 For manipulation 3 In political context 4 Other goals 5 In corporate life 6 Underlying psychology 7 See also 8 References 9 External linksFor abuse EditVictim playing by abusers is either 1 2 Dehumanization diverting attention away from acts of abuse by claiming that the abuse was justified based on another person s bad behavior typically the victim Grooming for abusive power and control by soliciting sympathy from others in order to gain their assistance in supporting or enabling the abuse of a victim known as proxy abuse It is common for abusers to engage in victim playing This serves two purposes Justification to themselves in transactional analysis known as existential validation as a way of dealing with the cognitive dissonance that results from inconsistencies between the way they treat others and what they believe about themselves Justification to others as a strategy of evading or deflecting harsh judgment or condemnation they may fear from others For manipulation EditManipulators often play the victim role woe is me by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else s behavior in order to gain pity or sympathy or to evoke compassion and thereby get something from someone Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering and the manipulator often finds it easy and rewarding to play on sympathy to get cooperation 3 While portraying oneself as a victim can be highly successful in obtaining goals over the short term this method tends to be less successful over time Victims talent for high drama draws people to them like moths to a flame Their permanent dire state brings out the altruistic motives in others It is difficult to ignore constant cries for help In most instances however the help given is of short duration And like moths in a flame helpers quickly get burned nothing seems to work to alleviate the victims miserable situation there is no movement for the better Any efforts rescuers make are ignored belittled or met with hostility No wonder that the rescuers become increasingly frustrated and walk away 4 In political context EditWhile failing to produce any affirmative values the fetishistic lack of future is masked up by an excess of confirmation of its own status of victimhood as noted by the Bosnian political theoretician Jasmin Hasanovic seeing it in the post Yugoslav context as a form of auto colonialism where reproducing the narrative of victimhood corresponds with the balkanization stereotypes being the very narrative of the colonizer where the permanence of war is the contemporaneity of fear affirming the theses on eternal hatred thus strengthening ethnonationalism even more 5 Other goals EditVictim playing is also An attention seeking technique see for example Munchausen syndrome In corporate life EditThe language of victim playing has entered modern corporate life as a potential weapon of all professionals 6 To define victim players as dishonest may be an empowering response 7 as too may be awareness of how childhood boundary issues can underlie the tactic 8 In the hustle of office politics the term may however be abused so as to penalize the legitimate victim of injustice as well as the role player Underlying psychology EditTransactional analysis distinguishes real victims from those who adopt the role in bad faith ignoring their own capacities to improve their situation 9 Among the predictable interpersonal games psychiatrist Eric Berne identified as common among by victim players are Look How Hard I ve Tried and Wooden Leg 10 R D Laing considered that it will be difficult in practice to determine whether or to what extent a relationship is collusive when the one person is predominantly the passive victim 11 and when they are merely playing the victim The problem is intensified once a pattern of victimization has been internalised perhaps in the form of a double bind 12 Object relations theory has explored the way possession by a false self can create a permanent sense of victimisation 13 a sense of always being in the hands of an external fate 14 To break the hold of the negative complex and to escape the passivity of victimhood requires taking responsibility for one s own desires and long term actions 15 See also EditAbusive power and control Abuse defense Blame Buck passing Causality Causation law Cognitive distortion Contributory negligence Determinism Emotional blackmail Exaggeration Gaslighting Guilt trip Identified patient Karpman drama triangle Learned helplessness Let the Wookiee win Mind games Necessity defense New York Persecutory delusion Rachel Dolezal Police reports about alleged hate crimes Sadfishing Self blame Sob story Spoilt Rotten Victim blaming Victim feminism Victim mentality Victimisation VictimologyReferences Edit Bailey Rug C 2015 Life After Narcissistic Abuse Bailey Rug C 2016 It s Not You It s Them When People Are More Than Selfish Simon George K 1996 In Sheep s Clothing Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People ISBN 978 0 9651696 0 8 Manfred F R Kets de Vries 2014 Are you a victim of the victim syndrome Organizational Dynamics 43 pp 130 137 https dx doi org 10 1016 j orgdyn 2014 03 007 Hasanovic J 2021 Mirroring Europeanization Balkanization and Auto Colonial Narrative in Bosnia and Herzegovina Berlin De Gruyter pp 93 https doi org 10 1515 9783110684216 004 Susan A DePhillips Corporate Confidential 2005 p 65 Anthony C Mersino Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers 2007 p 60 and p 43 Mersino p 104 Petruska Clarkson Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy London 1997 p 217 Eric Berne Games People Play Penguin 1964 p 92 and p 141 2 R D Laing Self and Others Penguin 1969 p 108 Laing p 145 Neville Symington Narcissism A New Theory London 1993 p 116 Michael Parsons The Dove that Returns the Dove that Vanishes London 2000 p 34 Polly Young Eisendrath Women and Desire London 2000 p 201 and p 30 Anthony C Mersino Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers The People Skills You Need to Succeed 2012 p 60 and p 43External links EditBooknotes interview with Charles Sykes on A Nation of Victims The Decay of the American Character November 29 1992 Retrieved from https en wikipedia org w index php title Playing the victim amp oldid 1141337130, wikipedia, wiki, book, books, library,

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