Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) is a parent education program based on the Gordon Model by Thomas Gordon. Gordon taught the first P.E.T. course in 1962 and the courses proved to be so popular with parents that he began training instructors throughout the United States to teach it in their communities. Over the next several years, the course spread to all 50 states. On November 1, 1970, Gordon wrote the Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) book. It became a best-seller and was updated in 2000 revised book.
Central to P.E.T. philosophy is how parents can raise children without the use of punitive discipline, which is damaging to the parent, the child, and their relationship.[1] Instead, Gordon advocated a no-lose method of resolving conflicts in which both the parent and the child get their needs met.
Gordon's model upon which the P.E.T. course is based, is a set of concepts and skills for more democratic, collaborative relationships. Core skills are active listening, I-messages, "shifting gears" and "no-lose conflict resolution'. Knowing when to use each skill is facilitated by the Behavior Window, which strives for clarity on "whose problem is this?" Identifying "who owns the problem" is promoted as a big first step in successfully resolving interpersonal conflict.
Gordon Training International, the organization that Gordon founded, has a network of P.E.T. representatives and instructors in 53 countries (as of 2020) who make the course available to the parents of all cultural, racial and religious backgrounds.
Active listening is a way of reflecting back what the other person has said to let them know that you're listening and to check your understanding of what they mean. It is a restatement of the other person's total communication: the words of the message plus the accompanying feelings.
I-messagesedit
There are several types of I-messages, all of which communicate information about the self. When dealing with a problem in which the parent owns the problem, use of confrontive I-messages is encouraged. These messages should include the behavior that is causing a problem, the effect on the parent, and how the parent feels about the situation. I-messages should include as little judgment as possible. For instance, instead of saying "you are being rude and inconsiderate" the parent would say something like "I don't like it when you talk this loud during the news because I can't hear it."
No-lose conflict resolutionedit
No-lose conflict resolution is based on John Dewey's six steps to creative solutions for conflicts. The goal is to find a solution that is acceptable to both people involved in the conflict. No one loses, both win.
Behavior windowedit
The Behavior Window is a visual diagram used to determine who owns the problem when one occurs in a relationship. The window is divided into four parts: Child Owns the Problem, No Problem Area, Parent Owns the Problem, Both Own the Problem. Depending on who has the problem, the Gordon Model offers specific communication and conflict resolution skills for resolving it successfully.
Referencesedit
^Gershoff, Elizabeth T. (2010). "More Harm than Good: A Summary of Scientific Research on the Intended and Unintended Effects of Corporal Punishment on Children". Law and Contemporary Problems. 73 (2): 31–56, 45 – via Duke Law Scholarship Repository.
External linksedit
Gordon Training International
December 08, 2023
parent, effectiveness, training, neutrality, this, article, disputed, relevant, discussion, found, talk, page, please, remove, this, message, until, conditions, november, 2016, learn, when, remove, this, template, message, parent, education, program, based, go. The neutrality of this article is disputed Relevant discussion may be found on the talk page Please do not remove this message until conditions to do so are met November 2016 Learn how and when to remove this template message Parent Effectiveness Training P E T is a parent education program based on the Gordon Model by Thomas Gordon Gordon taught the first P E T course in 1962 and the courses proved to be so popular with parents that he began training instructors throughout the United States to teach it in their communities Over the next several years the course spread to all 50 states On November 1 1970 Gordon wrote the Parent Effectiveness Training P E T book It became a best seller and was updated in 2000 revised book Central to P E T philosophy is how parents can raise children without the use of punitive discipline which is damaging to the parent the child and their relationship 1 Instead Gordon advocated a no lose method of resolving conflicts in which both the parent and the child get their needs met Gordon s model upon which the P E T course is based is a set of concepts and skills for more democratic collaborative relationships Core skills are active listening I messages shifting gears and no lose conflict resolution Knowing when to use each skill is facilitated by the Behavior Window which strives for clarity on whose problem is this Identifying who owns the problem is promoted as a big first step in successfully resolving interpersonal conflict Gordon Training International the organization that Gordon founded has a network of P E T representatives and instructors in 53 countries as of 2020 who make the course available to the parents of all cultural racial and religious backgrounds Contents 1 Active listening 2 I messages 3 No lose conflict resolution 4 Behavior window 5 References 6 External linksActive listening editActive listening is a way of reflecting back what the other person has said to let them know that you re listening and to check your understanding of what they mean It is a restatement of the other person s total communication the words of the message plus the accompanying feelings I messages editThere are several types of I messages all of which communicate information about the self When dealing with a problem in which the parent owns the problem use of confrontive I messages is encouraged These messages should include the behavior that is causing a problem the effect on the parent and how the parent feels about the situation I messages should include as little judgment as possible For instance instead of saying you are being rude and inconsiderate the parent would say something like I don t like it when you talk this loud during the news because I can t hear it No lose conflict resolution editNo lose conflict resolution is based on John Dewey s six steps to creative solutions for conflicts The goal is to find a solution that is acceptable to both people involved in the conflict No one loses both win Behavior window editThe Behavior Window is a visual diagram used to determine who owns the problem when one occurs in a relationship The window is divided into four parts Child Owns the Problem No Problem Area Parent Owns the Problem Both Own the Problem Depending on who has the problem the Gordon Model offers specific communication and conflict resolution skills for resolving it successfully References edit Gershoff Elizabeth T 2010 More Harm than Good A Summary of Scientific Research on the Intended and Unintended Effects of Corporal Punishment on Children Law and Contemporary Problems 73 2 31 56 45 via Duke Law Scholarship Repository External links editGordon Training International Retrieved from https en wikipedia org w index php title Parent Effectiveness Training amp oldid 1161375725, wikipedia, wiki, book, books, library,
